I hate Alex Rodriguez.

Yes, this guy.

There’s nothing unique about my hate. Most Yankees fans can’t stand him, despite the fact that he’s played with the team for nearly a decade.

So why the mass hate? 

Is it the performance enhancing drugs?

The tabloid antics?

The huge gulf between what he’s paid and what he produces?

Yes to all three. But I don’t believe that captures it. The dislike among those I know is so visceral, and I think I know why.

First, imagine that the Yankees, the team in its entirety, was a fictional character, an action hero. Let’s call him Jason Yankee. He’s filthy rich, hard working, clean cut, loyal. He battles his archenemy Rodney Redsox, along with scores of minor villains including Mickey Mets. 

Now, think of the individual players as character traits of Jason Yankee. Derek Jeter would represent his All-American persona. Johnny Damon’s stint is a great example of Jason Yankee as clean-cut. Damon went from this cro-mag mess:

To this:

Now how does A-Rod fit in?

That’s just it. He doesn’t. If you read a book or watched a movie featuring Jason Yankee, and an A-Rod-ish event occurred, you wouldn’t believe it. It’s too out of character.

So it’s time for a rewrite — long past time. Bye bye A-Rod.